Jun
4
8:40pm

cakeface:

Nation’s Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: ‘Let’s Move In Together’ (via TheOnion)

I love this.


May
19
11:01pm

Just found out I didn’t get a job I didn’t want.

So why does it still hurt?


May
17
11:00pm
“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. Which is why i guess everyone died of tuberculosis.”
-

Jack Handey (via nudawn)

It’s still hard for me to believe that Jack Handey is a real person.  That’s the name of the SNL writer who wrote “Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey.”  Such a happy confluence of events, to have that name and those one-liners.  

Here’s one of my Jack Handey favorites:

“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?

We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”


May
17
5:51pm

An Update

I just got back from ten days in L.A.  I was there for interviews and meetings, and an audition managed to sneak on to my itinerary as well, but most of my time was spent in my rental car driving from the east side to the west, back east, back west, back east. I drove the following highways: the 2, 5, 10, 101, 105, 110, 134, and the 405.   Things that kept me sane: a working GPS, great podcasts (Never Not Funny, Adam Corolla, Comedy and Everything Else, Planet Money), my awesome friends, doing shows (5), hiking in Griffith Park, Pure Iced Blendeds, and AA meetings.  I had to stay two more days than I’d originally planned, and there were a few days there when I felt like I’d never make it back to Brooklyn.  I’m so glad to be home.  

I don’t know what’s going to happen next.  I might be moving back west, I might be staying right where I am.  I might be working on a new show, or coming up with my own show, or writing a movie, or short stories, or I have no idea.  I don’t even know what I want to happen.   I’ve never felt so comfortable being so uncertain, and it’s been incredibly liberating.  I really enjoyed every interview (except for one) and the audition* and I just know in my heart that whatever happens will be for the best.  Some decisions are out of my control (like the budget one that put me in this position in the first place) but what really matters are the thousand small decisions I make on a daily basis.  

No matter what, I’m thrilled to be home.  What’s home for now, at least.

*they called my manager to “put a pin” in me.  That means they’re interested in a couple of us for the role, and they’re checking on our availability for those dates. Very preliminary, but it feels great to know that I did a good enough job to still be in consideration.  And now it’s just another decision that’s out of my control.  


May
6
3:10am

Today's News

Good News:  I was asked to audition for a new, really funny show on HBO.  My manager didn’t submit me, they requested me specifically.

Bad News:  The part requires nudity.

Not News:  Not gonna do it.


May
3
11:03pm

I may be in a terrible mood.

Just saw a commercial for “In Plain Sight” on USA.  This was the annoying/lazy joke they highlighted that demonstrates why I’ll never watch this fucking show.

Guy star: I feel like I’m in a movie.

Lady star: Let me guess, “Clueless”?

Guy star: I was going to say “The Taming of the Shrew.”

 Technically, sure “The Taming of the Shrew” was a movie — it was the movie version of the SHAKESPEARE PLAY.  So the reason that joke doesn’t quite work is because it’s bent as hell, and the writers should have worked harder to find a different movie, or a different set-up altogether.  Aaaarfghrlfrr.


May
3
10:49pm
There’s no way that’s really Steve Buscemi.  Just like Tina Fey’s twitter isn’t really her. This stuff drives me crazy.  Aaarfghrfg.
soupsoup:

molls:planettampon:
Meta.

There’s no way that’s really Steve Buscemi.  Just like Tina Fey’s twitter isn’t really her. This stuff drives me crazy.  Aaarfghrfg.

soupsoup:

molls:planettampon:

Meta.

Apr
29
8:57am
Photo taken with a real camera, not my Mac’s Photobooth.
Photo taken with a real camera, not my Mac’s Photobooth.

Apr
29
8:53am
Literally licking his lips.
Literally licking his lips.

Apr
29
8:52am
Someone is enjoying a raw beef bone.
Someone is enjoying a raw beef bone.

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